The rise of online dating platforms and apps has made it easier than ever for those looking for love to connect with potential partners and build lasting connections. Unfortunately, the online dating landscape is also an attractive target for criminals looking to exploit online relationships for financial gain.
Romance scams, also known as romance fraud, occur when criminals form online relationships under false pretences, preying on their victims’ emotions to manipulate and steal from them. The National Fraud Intelligence Bureau estimates that around £95 million was lost to these types of crime in 2024, and it’s on the increase, with the average loss per victim totalling over £10,000.
At Complex Law, we’ve handled many of these cases and seen firsthand the devastating impact they can have, not only financially but also on victims’ self-esteem and emotional well-being. It’s therefore important that you and your loved ones are alert to the warning signs that indicate a new online relationship may not be all that it seems.
What should I look out for to avoid romance scams?
Romance scammers are constantly evolving their tactics and looking for new ways to lure in victims, but there are a few red flags that remain common to the majority of scams. If any of these apply to you or a loved one, you should cease contact immediately and seek professional advice.
Everything’s a little too perfect
Romance scammers create “ideal” personas – using stolen or AI-generated images of attractive people as their profile pictures, and claiming to have high-status jobs that give them an excuse not to meet or video call, such as active military, an engineer working overseas, or an aid worker. If they seem too good to be true, they probably are.
Keen to move forward, fast
Scammers want to build an emotional connection as fast as possible, so they can move on to requesting money. To do so, they engage in “love bombing” – professing deep feelings of love within days or weeks of originally contacting a potential victim. The aim is to get the victim to lower their guard and groom them for the coming scam.
Avoiding video calls or meetups
Avoiding face-to-face contact (in person or virtual) is one of the most common signs of a scammer. As their persona is built on fake images, they will offer any excuse to get out of a meeting or video call, which would expose them. Instead, they will claim to be working somewhere without a decent internet connection, say their camera is broken, or that they had to travel at short notice.
Moving off the dating platform
Most dating apps have some level of monitoring in place to help detect romance scams and protect their users. Scammers often try to lure their victims into another communication channel without these protections – insisting on talking over WhatsApp, email, or phone. Wanting to move quickly to a private method of communication (with no clear reason why) is a major red flag for romance scams.
Asking for money urgently
Once the scammer feels they have made an emotional connection, the real scam begins. Requests for money will crop up in conversation, sometimes small at first, but usually escalating. There’s always a compelling reason they need the money now – a short-term loan they will pay back in a few weeks, an unexpected medical bill, money for travel tickets so they can meet you, or lawyer’s fees to access an inheritance or trust.
The bottom line is: any “urgent” request for money from someone you’ve known for only a few weeks or months should be treated as a red flag, and you should cut off contact without sending any funds.
Suspect you’re being scammed? Here’s what to do.
If your online relationship raises any of these flags, you must act decisively.
- Stop all contact immediately, and block the scammer
- Do not send any money (or any more money).
- Keep all evidence, including conversations and profile details.
- Report the profile to the dating app or social media platform.
- Report the incident to the police or Action Fraud
If you have lost money to a romance scam, and you’d like to learn more about the legal avenues available to you to pursue recovery of funds, speak to one of the team at Complex Law. We treat each case with sensitivity and confidentiality and can give you a clear picture of the likely outcomes.
Frequently asked questions
Are romance scams more common on specific apps or websites?
Romance scams can occur on any platform where people can connect online. This includes all major dating apps (like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble), social media sites (Facebook, Instagram), and even professional networking sites like LinkedIn. The key is to apply the same level of caution and look for the same red flags, no matter where you first make contact.
I’ve sent money to someone I believe is a scammer. Is it too late to get it back?
It’s usually challenging to recover funds in these cases, but it’s not impossible. The key is to act immediately, as soon as you suspect a scammer is at work. Contact your bank to freeze accounts or stop any pending transactions, and report the incident to Action Fraud without delay. This report will be essential to any investigation that may follow.
How can I be sure it’s a scam without offending them?
It’s possible that a genuine romantic connection may exhibit some of the red flags we talked about above, but if they truly have your best interests at heart, they should understand your need to check and verify they are who they say they are. Don’t be lured into sending money to a scammer out of a desire not to cause friction or embarrassment.
What legal action can I take against a romance scammer?
Pursuing legal action against the individual scammer is difficult. They are typically based overseas, use fake identities, and are experienced at covering their tracks. However, if funds were transferred to a UK account (often belonging to a 'money mule'), there may be avenues to try to retrieve the stolen money from that account. Speak to Complex Law, and we’ll advise on what’s possible in your specific circumstances.
I’m embarrassed to tell my family or the authorities. What should I do?
Scammers rely on the embarrassment suffered by their victims to keep their crimes unreported. If you’ve been a victim, it’s important to understand that you’re not alone. Thousands of people are affected by romance scams each year, and it is nothing to feel ashamed of – you’re simply the victim of a targeted and skilled criminal act. Reporting the scam to Action Fraud and your bank is the most important step you can take to protect yourself from further loss and help prevent them from targeting others.
This blog is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your circumstances, please contact our team directly.
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