What you need to know to stay safe when dating online

Romance scams are a particularly cruel form of fraud, exploiting trust and emotion for financial gain, and leaving victims with significant emotional and financial damage. This page is designed to empower you with the knowledge to recognise the warning signs, protect yourself from manipulation, and understand the steps to take if you or someone you know is affected.

Why are romance scams so effective?

Victims of romance scams often feel embarrassed that they “should have spotted it earlier” or “should have been smarter”. But with almost £100m lost to romance scams each year in the UK alone, it’s clear that it’s not the victims who are at fault – these scammers are highly skilled, professional and convincing. 

Understanding the psychological tactics that scammers use can help you to protect yourself and your loved ones.

• ‍Building dependency: Through constant contact and 'love bombing', they make you feel like they are the most important person in your life, creating an emotional dependency.‍
• Crafting a believable narrative: They create a detailed story that explains why they are isolated (e.g., working on an oil rig, deployed overseas) and justifies their eventual need for money.‍
• Exploiting empathy: The request for money is always framed as a desperate emergency, designed to trigger your natural human instinct to help someone you care about who is in distress.‍
• Testing the waters: They may start with a small request to test your willingness to send money before escalating to much larger amounts.

What to look out for: red flags that indicate a scam

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What does UK law say about romance scams?

In the UK, romance fraud is primarily prosecuted under the Fraud Act 2006, specifically for 'Fraud by False Representation'. This covers the act of creating a fake identity to dishonestly make a financial gain.

Prosecuting the individual scammers is challenging, as they are often overseas. Therefore, investigations frequently focus on tracking the flow of money, which may involve UK-based accomplices ('money mules') who launder the funds. In some cases, civil recovery actions can be used to freeze and retrieve money from these accounts.

Need legal advice on a romance scam? 

[Contact Complex Law]

Preventing romance scams: online safety tips

The best way to avoid a scam is to be proactive from the very beginning. When meeting people online, it’s important to remain cautious, even as what seems to be a genuine relationship develops. Here are some rule-of-thumb safety measures you can take – or share with friends or family who use online dating apps:

Take it slow

Watch out for anyone who wants to know intimate information about you right off the bat. Take things slowly – don’t overshare personal or financial information about yourself until you’re sure you know who you’re talking to.

Stay on the platform

Keep conversations on the dating platform or app where you met for as long as possible – they have monitoring and security features which can help keep you safe. Don’t be pressured to move your communications to a private WhatsApp, email or phone.

Reverse image search

Services like Google Images let you reverse search the profile pictures of the person you’re talking to. If the images appear on stock photo sites or on other profiles with different names, you can be pretty sure you’re talking to a scammer. 

Search their name and email

Put their details into Google or Bing. A genuine person will usually have some form of social media history, a professional profile (like LinkedIn), or other mentions online, such as their company’s website or local news stories. A complete lack of presence is suspicious.

Insist on a video call

Suggesting a video call (through the dating site, if possible) is a great way to quickly identify if someone’s using a fake identity or profile picture, as they will come up with any excuse to avoid it. However, even if they say yes, remain cautious – some scammers are prepared to video call with victims, so it’s not a complete green light.

Suspect you’ve been scammed? Take these 5 steps now.

1. Stop all contact immediately. Block their number, email, and social media profiles. Do not let them manipulate you into continuing the conversation.
   
2. Do not send any more money. No matter what the scammer says, cease all payments immediately.
   
3. Preserve all evidence. Save any conversations, emails, profile details, and transaction records if you’ve already made payments.
   
4. Contact your bank immediately. Report the payments as fraudulent. The faster you act, the better the chance of recovering funds.
   
5. Report to Action Fraud. This is the UK's official centre for reporting fraud and cybercrime. An official report is crucial to any further investigation.